Religious Hair Dressers

I’ve had a couple of barbers here in Israel…some of them include a self-proclaimed (and probably real) nephew of a mafia boss, any number of random dudes in the army including my Sarsap who after telling me how great he was at giving haircuts proceeded to give me a decent haircut and then said “Whoa! I can’t believe I just cut someone’s hair…first time…”, old-men with shakey hands, husky Russian women, pretty much a plethora of colorful characters.

Meanwhile, when I sought a barber in Tel-Aviv I found a little nook near this champagne bar I go to quite a bit.  The guy was nice, didn’t charge me too much, and he gave good haircuts. He was from Turkmenistan and he had gone to NYC and learned to cut hair.

I loved going to him because not only did he give good haircuts, but he enjoyed discussing religion with me.  He always had a tape of some rabbi speaking on his stereo and he gave all sorts of blessings and talked to me about what it means, according to Kaballah, that I have red in my beard.  When I bought my goat, he called his mother to try to figure out what a decent price would be for goat meat (if I recall she said 10 shekels a kilo) and then proceeded to give me a blessing over my new farm animal.  I really enjoyed this guy, and I was sad when he closed up shop and became a drywaller (according to my roommate).  His shop was at a really ritzy intersection and I bet the price was just too much for him…it’s too bad his talents are going to waste…

This left me in quite a lurch.  I hate trying out new barbers, and I liked that guy.

The first place I tried was a place just down the street from my apartment.  There is a little 4’10″ man in his late 40s who cuts hair there.

I got the wrong impression about him the first time….he’s the only barber I’ve ever seen who always wears a hat.  He didn’t talk too much.  I thought maybe he was shy, perhaps homosexual, and I wasn’t sure how many guys went there to get their haircut despite the sign on the door saying it was a unisex place…meanwhile, I didn’t know where else to go, he gave good haircuts and I left it at that….there’s certainly something disconcerting about a barber who wears a hat, but I didn’t think too far into it….

So today I got my haircut at Mishel’s and realized why he wears a hat…Mishel, my Italian 4’10″ barber, wears a hat because he’s religious….only this time Ashkenazi!!

While my last barber was Mizrachi, my new barber is Ashkenazi, and began telling me all about what the Rebbe says about luck.  Fascinating!  How could I have missed this last time?  All the telling signs were there:

-The hat (a normal hat, not a Black-Hat, but clearly there in place of a kippah)

-The stubble (doesn’t shave)

-The signs with the Rebbe’s picture, and the giant book of Psalms behind the cash register

-If I were to have looked closer the first two haircuts I might have noticed he was wearing tzitzit!

Ok, so let me get this straight……the only two barbers I’ve ever gone to in all of Tel-Aviv were both religious guys?  Really?  I mean, that’s exactly what I want from my barber, but still…you’d expect this in Jerusalem, but in the heart of Tel-Aviv, I expected something different from my barbers…well, it is what it is!

A Tribute To Four Regular Tel-Avivians

I thought I would drop a quick post today about 4 of the people I interact with each day:

1– Judah and Yisrael:  These two jokers are brothers who jointly own a pastry/sandwich shop near my house.  I have to pass buy them on the way to my bus every morning.  When I was in the army, I would talk to them and they always gave me nice words of encouragement.  I say good morning to them each morning, and they always have a few nice words for me.  Great guys, great food, and fun people to say hello to each day even if we don’t really know each other.  This is my tribute to you guys!  Thanks for the quirky good mornings!

2–  The only female bus driver I’ve ever seen on a Dan-Bus (intra-city Tel-Aviv bus):  I don’t know her name, but she’s the best driver of the 23 bus ever.  The 23 bus is a short-bus, and I think they last replaced the shocks in about 1979…the other drivers drive very fast, relatively recklessly, and with little regard for their passengers.  There are some that are ok people, but most of them aren’t smiley or polite.  Meanwhile, this woman is an *excellent* driver.  The other passengers have made similar comments,  and they’re right.  She’s simply the best Bus 23 driver.  I’ve talked to her a few times, and her accent seems vaguely French.   Anyway, this woman helps me get to work and back safely and so this is my tribute to her.

3– Security Guard at HaShalom Tower:   I don’t know this guy’s name either.   He bears a striking resemblance to Jackie Robinson!  I always call him “Boss” and he usually has some nick-name for me, but we’ve never really introduced ourselves.  When I was a delivery-guy for a sandwich shop, I did deliveries in the HaShalom Tower and I passed by his checkpost all the time.  We always traded a few quips.  My gym is also in the HaShalom Tower and sometimes he guards that door.  Whenever I go in to the gym he gives me a fist-bump and gives me a kind of assistant-high-school-football-coach-one-liner…something along the lines of “Go get ‘em!”  So this is my tribute to you Boss!  Thanks for the motivation and the smile.

3 Men and a Baby

Today, one of the computer-tech guys from down the hall came to have a meeting with our computer-tech guy….and he brought along his several months old baby, Tom.

Tom is pretty cute. He’s built roughly like a snowman. Fat legs, fat middle, round head. He’s also got gigantic blue eyes, and I’m not sure I ever saw him blink.

Meanwhile, my office is probably 50/50 men and women, and I other than the secretary the ladies seemed to simply ignore little Tom and carry on with their business…

Meanwhile, the men in the office couldn’t get enough of making faces, tickling the baby, talking in baby-talk, all capped off when Tom, relaxing in his baby-carriage-stroller began crying and they crowded around and each took his turn trying to make him stop. One of them, after unsuccessfully trying to stop Tom’s tears said, “Isn’t there a woman around here who could pretend to be his mother for a few moments?” No. No there was not.

What’s up Israeli girls? Three men, a baby, and no interest from the ladies…really?…I figured all the womenfolk would be gathered around little Tom like a puppy in a kindergarten class….No?….well, it is what it is…

I Miss You All…but I’m still staying…

I never enjoy goodbyes.  I’m not sure anyone really does.

I’ve seen plenty of friends of mine leave Israel and it’s never easy to see them go, even when you knew they were leaving.  There’s so much uncertainty.  I’ve had friends leave and come back, and others that left and never came back (:::coughs::: Xander!…that’s right, I called you out on it too!  Deal with it!).

Anyway, when I got off work today I went to meet a friend of mine who’s half-year+ course has ended.  She’s flying back to the States in just a couple hours.  We had her last meal in Israel at Max Brenner (I’ll sum it up by saying the entire menu is chocolate…aaaaand the ladies love it! Surprise, surprise).

My friend was leaving tonight, her friend driving her to the airport is leaving in a week….but one of the other girls there to say goodbye had just arrived and was thinking about becoming and Israeli citizen and never leaving….

I try to be as humble as I can, but I’m a survivor in this game.

Let’s sum things up this way:

When I came to Israel I didn’t know the word “Yes” in Hebrew…Three and a half years later, I’m a translator….

When I came to Israel I’d almost never done any blue-collar work…My first jobs? Fish butcher, gardener, and janitor…

When I came to Israel I thought the army was what jocks did when high school football ended…I finished as an infantry soldier; a sergeant…

I’ve been through two wars (didn’t fight in either one for those keeping score, but I’ve had my share of combat-experience), I’ve lived on a commune, in a small city, and in a big city and I’ve slept on couches in between, and I’ve fallen in love and been heartsick.  A lot has changed in less than four years, and I don’t see much of a chance of things getting static anytime soon…anyone who knows me knows that if I’m bored, it won’t stay that way long…

I think it’s fair to say that every person I love or care about that I didn’t see *today*, I miss.   In spite of all the hardships I’ve had in the past few years, missing people is by far the most difficult to deal with.

Felicia, have a great flight and come back soon….I’ll be waiting….I’ll miss you, but maybe it just goes with the territory…it is what it is….

Microsoft Word 2010 Beta

If Miles Davis were alive today, perhaps he’d say:

“If somebody told me I had only one hour to live, I’d spend it choking a Microsoft Word engineer. I’d do it nice and slow.”

Dear Engineers of Microsoft Word 2010 Beta,

We’re just not compatible.  Go suck a lemon.

Sincerely,

It Is What It Is

Triangles: My New Favorite Shape

I spent about 6-7 hours today translating educational books about geometry. Triangles in particular.
I like triangles more now than ever. I can’t say I learned anything new about them today, but if I have to stare at any shape, a triangle is a cool shape to stare at.
Now my eyes hurt and I’m going to bed so I can wake up early and go back to work.
Nine hours is slightly too long a work shift, but I guess that’s ok.

Oh, did I mention I work for a place called Psycho? Yes. Yes indeed. It is what it is.

Chinchillawwwwwwe

For no reason, here is a baby chinchilla drinking from a bottle.  It is what it is…

The Orangutan Challenge

First of all, there was an Earthquake in Indiana today.  The New Madrid Fault strikes again!!  Weird.

Ok, now for the real meat and bones of this post:

Orangutan’s haven’t ever been my favorite of creatures, but today’s post is dedicated to the Bornean Orangutan.

They are just so fascinating.  They seem charming.  Like all of my favorite creatures, they are really very ugly, but since they are unaware of their ugliness it makes them cute (like pug dogs).  My favorite thing about Bornean Orangutans is that it is nearly impossible to look at pictures of them and not laugh.  I think I would get along well with them.

So what follows will be three pictures of Bornean Orangutans.  I *defy* you not to laugh if you look at each picture for 10 seconds.  So take the Orangutan Challenge…it is what it is!

News! News! News! (and a rant and sabich and movie previews guy’s real name)

Ok, so it’s been a spell (people don’t say “spell” enough…) since I wrote a real blog post.  So here goes:

1–  I’m employed.  Hooray.  After a series of interviews I was hired as a writer and translator for a small web-based company.  My (f)unemployment has ended.  (Insert noise of a crowd saying “Awwww” here)

2– The Colts lost the Super Bowl and it’s just depressing to me.  Crushing, really.  You’d think as a Cubs fan I’d be used to this kind of stuff, but it feels just as bad every time.  So close, and yet so far away.  Terrible.

3– On a lighter note, the Super Bowl party at Dancing Camel was splendid.  The food was a little burned, but the chorisos tasted great and I got my money’s worth of beer and football enjoyment.

4– I have to rant about something:

My roommate is re-watching the movie Into The Wild.  For those that haven’t seen this, I’ll try to sum it up quickly.  A smart kid decides to leave the real-world behind in order to live in nature.  It’s based on a true story.  In the end he tries to live on his own in Alaska and he dies.

Ok, so the movie makes this kid out to be really smart and savvy and so forth and I’m cool with that….in reality, however, the guy was a *complete* idiot.  He was actually very close to a nature trail that could have saved his life, but because he just thought “People are supposed to live in nature,and I’m a person, therefor I’m biologically meant to survive in nature” he basically killed himself.  Let’s be clear: Nature *kills* you.  Don’t be that guy.

The other thing that bothers me about this movie is the scene where he asks a nature warden where is the best place to launch his kayak.  The warden says you have to pay money to kayak  there, that you need a license, and that you need experience.  So this losery kid leaves with this “Pay for nature? You can’t like get money for like nature maaaan it’s for everyone” type of look, and then proceeds to kayak (with no helmet) through ridiculous rapids with no helmet.  Ok, the no helmet thing is just Hollywood, but what really bothered me here was that the *reason* they wanted him to pay wasn’t to commercialize and capitalize on nature,  it was to *protect* nature sites from overuse that could pervert their beauty,  and to protect *idiots* like this losery kid from killing themselves (which he eventually did in Alaska).

5– My new office is close to the best place for Sabich (roasted/fried eggplant, hard boiled egg, tehina, and mango pickle in a pita) in all of Israel.  Who wants over/under odds for how many times I will eat sabich during my tenure at my new job?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CE0WoINuPA

6– The above was either actually voiced by, or meant to sound like, Dan Lafontaine.  Dan is a hero and I’m sorry he’s not still with us.  He made movie previews not-suck, and for that, he gets a head nod from me.

7– It is what it is.

COLTS

GO COLTS GO!!